Humorous Christmas Quotes
Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity
- Don Cupitt
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
- Kin Hubbard
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
- Jay Leno
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
- Humorous Quotes by Ogden Nash
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson
Oh, look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer .... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
- Humorous Quote by Bill Watterson
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
- P.J. O'Rourke
I never believed in Santa Clause because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.
- Humorous Xmas Quotes by Dick Gregory
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
- Johnny Carson
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
- Joan Rivers
I stopped believing in Santa Clause when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
- Humorous Christmas Quotes by Shirley Temple
