Funny Christmas Sayings
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
- Tom Sims
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.
- Peter Dickinson
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
- P.J. O'Rourke
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
- Dave Barry
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
- Xmas Funny Sayings by Larry Wilde
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
- Ogden Nash
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
- Funny Xmas Sayings Erma Bombeck
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
- Bill Watterson
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
- Funny Sayings by Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
- Richard Lamm
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
- Funny Christmas Sayings by Bernard Manning
